1 Thought:

In today’s fast-paced, hyper-connected world, the lines between sales and leadership are more blurred than ever. A great salesperson is not just someone who closes deals — they lead, inspire, and influence. Likewise, a great leader is, in many ways, always selling: ideas, visions, decisions, and values. So what’s the secret sauce that binds these roles together?

It comes down to two seemingly opposing traits: ego and empathy.

At first glance, ego and empathy appear to be at odds. One is self-centered; the other is other-centered. But in truth, both are vital, complementary forces that drive effectiveness in selling and leading. When balanced correctly, they form a powerful foundation for influence, trust, and impact.

1. The Power of Ego: Why Belief in Self Matters

Let’s start with ego. Often misunderstood, ego isn’t inherently negative. When healthy and aligned, ego is the source of confidence, drive, and resilience. It’s the internal engine that says, “I can do this,” even in the face of setbacks and rejection — something every salesperson and leader faces. You remember the “Little Engine That Could” children’s book….same idea.

A salesperson without ego won’t survive long. Rejection is a given. Clients will say no. Quotas will be missed. Competitors will outmaneuver you. Ego is what keeps you standing, showing up, dialing the phone, presenting your pitch with energy even after a string of disappointments. Ego whispers, “You’ve got this,” when no one else does.

For leaders, ego is equally critical. Leadership requires vision — and vision demands courage. Whether you’re steering a company through a market downturn, leading a startup through uncharted terrain, or challenging your team to rise higher, you need an unshakeable belief in your ability to influence outcomes. That belief comes from ego.

But here’s the catch: ego must be anchored in purpose, not arrogance. It’s not about being the loudest in the room or the smartest on the team. It’s about being grounded in your value, your mission, and your capacity to make a difference. Tough ask for many heavy on ego currently.

Healthy ego fuels:

Confidence in your value proposition

The courage to take risks

Resilience in the face of failure

The ability to assert without being aggressive

A magnetic presence that others trust and follow

Ego gives you presence. It allows you to hold the room, make bold asks, and lead with conviction. But ego alone is dangerous. Left unchecked, it leads to hubris, tunnel vision, and disconnection. That’s where empathy comes in.

2. The Quiet Strength of Empathy: The Ability to Tune In

If ego is about belief in self, empathy is about understanding others.

Empathy is not just a feel-good quality. It’s a strategic advantage. It’s the secret behind great rapport, deep trust, and effective influence. In sales, empathy means understanding your customer’s world — not just their pain points, but their motivations, fears, aspirations, and unspoken objections.

It’s the difference between pushing a product and offering a solution. Empathy allows you to listen beyond words, to read the room, to sense when to push and when to pause. Empathetic salespeople ask better questions, build stronger relationships, and earn trust faster. They don’t just sell — they serve.

For leaders, empathy is non-negotiable. Without it, you’re not leading — you’re commanding. In a world where employee engagement and retention are more challenging than ever, leaders who can understand their teams, communicate authentically, and care deeply stand out.

Empathy allows you to:

Build psychological safety.

Resolve conflicts without collateral damage.

Inspire loyalty and discretionary effort.

Create inclusive, high-trust cultures

Tailor your leadership to different personalities and needs

The best leaders aren’t the ones who speak the most — they’re the ones who listen best. They don’t just understand strategy; they understand humans.

3. The Balance: Ego Without Empathy is Tyranny, Empathy Without Ego is Weakness

You’ve likely met leaders and salespeople who lean too far into one side of the spectrum.

Too much ego and not enough empathy leads to a “pitbull” mentality. These are the hard-charging types who push their agenda without listening. They might win in the short term but often lose the trust and loyalty of clients and teams. Their confidence becomes arrogance. Their boldness becomes insensitivity.

On the flip side, too much empathy without enough ego results in people-pleasing. These individuals are great listeners, kind souls, and deeply caring — but they may lack the courage to assert, challenge, or drive outcomes. Their kindness becomes avoidance. Their concern becomes passivity.

True greatness — in sales and leadership — comes from balancing ego and empathy. You need the confidence to lead and the compassion to connect. You need to believe in yourself and genuinely care about others. You need to speak with authority and listen with humility.

This balance is rare, but when it shows up, it’s magnetic.

4. Developing Both: Practical Tips for Growth

So how can you cultivate both ego and empathy in your personal and professional growth? These traits are inherently natural for everyone, but they can be developed.

To Build Ego:

Keep a success journal – Document your wins, big and small (white paper your day). This reinforces your belief in yourself. Practice positive affirmations

Remind yourself of your value regularly.

Take bold actions – Put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Confidence grows through challenge.

Surround yourself with supporters; people who see your potential and reflect it back to you (surround yourself with winners if you want to win)

To Build Empathy:

Practice active listening

Listen to understand, not to respond

Ask more questions

Replace assumptions with curiosity

Read fiction – Studies show reading novels improves empathy by helping you see through others’ eyes (I struggle greatly with this one; low on fun imagination sadly).

Get feedback

Ask others how you impact them; learn to see yourself from the outside

5. The Ego-Empathy Equation in Action

Imagine this situation: A top-performing salesperson is meeting with a client who seems hesitant. The ego gives them the confidence to lead the conversation, ask for the sale, and project belief in their solution. But it’s empathy that picks up on the subtle hesitations, that pauses the pitch to ask, “What’s holding you back?”

Or think about a CEO announcing a bold organizational shift. Ego allows them to stand firm, communicate the vision, and rally support. Empathy lets them acknowledge the uncertainty, listen to fears, and bring people with them — not just drive them forward.

This is the power of ego and empathy together. Alone, they’re incomplete. Combined, they’re unstoppable.

Conclusion: Lead and Sell Like the Best!

In the end, the best salespeople and the best leaders are simply the best people. They blend confidence with compassion, assertiveness with understanding. They lead with strength and kindness. They close deals and open the doors to relationships.

So whether you’re dialing for dollars, managing a team, pitching investors, or setting a vision — don’t choose between ego and empathy. Choose both. Build a bold belief in yourself — and a deep concern for others.

Because that’s where real influence begins.

1 Quote:

“The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.”

– Plato

Athenian Philosopher, former student of Socrates

1 Question:

Are you open to learning about ego and empathy – and ultimately engaging with both?

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